If you're reading this entry:
Read it carefully, precisely, with indepth thoughts.
Don't skim, don't skip.
There was a girl. A girl who was confused about the world. She was brought up to believe in God, in family, friends, love, life. To have self confidence, to see without bias. But at one point in life, the brace holding up the pyramid was taken away, causing everything else to fall. Gravity has damned effects. The structure of life can rearrange-- one day your crutch will be family, the next it'll be God. Today friends may leave, tomorrow love with approach. But all-in-all, the girl was always dependant on one thing. The pyramid shifted.
God and church had walked out on her. It was an abandoned feeling, not having faith, not having someone to always talk to. Corruption soaked in, causing the girl to see in black and white. The topic of a higher being agonized her, taunted her-- it bore her. She stopped praying; stopped asking for help.
Family members began to drop. There were deaths in the family, divorces, tares in the warm blanket of unity that warmed the girl. Everyone cried, everyone fought. Her Grandma lost hope, her Mom began to deteriorate, her brother moved away. And throughout it all, she wondered if some how all of it was, in any way, her fault. Was she making it worse with her presense ? The answer was as bright as day, but her vision being in black and white prevented it from being seen.
Friends began to betray her. They spoke about her behind her back, between eachother, gossiping, bad mouthing. She knew. All along, she knew. But the girl just took it, got beat with the bamboo stick, and hoped that it might pass. Eventually, most of the friends left, distant, unwanting of her. She was undesired.
Finally, love had escaped her. Her only love was her family and friends. It was too far out in space to grasp, so she sat in the black abyss, wondering, trying to reach it. As soon as she got one step up the ladder, it grew longer, tiring her. Her feeble attempts at happiness weren't met. And so, she finally gave up, the ladder fell, and the black abyss engulfed her.
Life collapsed in on her like a circus tent-- a black hole, a supernova spreading over the star carpeted sky. It was like the weight of the world was on this one girls shoulders, as over used as the phrase was. Her chest was heavy, her heart a calcified heap. And still, it stays, at the bottom of the tank.
Fridays letter was u n t h o u g h t of, r e u s e d and r e c y c l e d, u n w a n t e d, u n w r i t t e n. Yet there was a d e s i r e, a deep y e a r n i n g. Unfufilled, the girl was sweapt under the rug.
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aggravated
tired
horny
thoughtful
bored